HAPPPPPYYYY FRIDAYYY !!
How was your guys' week? What is something out of the ordinary that may have happened to you this week? Let me know in the comment section or feel free to contact me via email or social media!
Today's blog is titled "the REAL"... Now that I'm thinking about it, there is a show in San Diego that comes on every morning called The Real. Ha Ha! (oh well, I'm keeping my title up)
Wondering why I titled todays blog the REAL? I always share with you guys the adventures my family take, the love part of us and more. I noticed the other day I haven't talked much about the ups and downs about marriage. Last week I shared what it's like to be a military spouse. (that could honestly be a whole chapter book in itself) Sure there was some good and bad in there but it wasn't about marriage in general so that's what I wanted this blog to be about. I wanted to share the REAL with you. What REALLY goes on. There's pettiness, selfishness, disrespect, dishonesty and more. I hope to give something to you guys through my words of what I have learned so far.
If you regularly read my posts then you know I got married at 18. This is something popular within the military family because they join so young and then get separated from their loved ones. So a lot tend to get married right away. Taylor and I talked about getting married almost instantly after we met but we truly didn't think we would want to do it right away. At first we really wanted to just be engaged for a while. I was just about to graduate and begin my own life path.
That didn't happen.
He proposed to me on my senior prom night. I knew it was coming because we didn't only talk about it BUT before we left for the dance he took my mom away to the side and then my dad... I just knew. (Good job honey, bad with keeping secerets haha). At that very dinner after he proposed we talked and agreed to wait to get married for obvious reasons. We agreed I could fly out to him, hang out with him and get to know each other better. Well about a month went by, he was back in California and we couldn't stand not being together physcially. (I regret this now but I still wouldn't change the way everything happened). He charmed me into deciding that getting married in about 3 months was the most logical and sensible thing to do... WHAT??! I agreed anyway. I was so nervous to tell my mom. Because as a mom you just want the best for your kids and she knew that I wasn't ready. She knew I was trying to grow up too fast. It isn't normal now and days to be engaged young. Especially with someone you meet on the internet. (oops). I loved him and she knew that. I think she saw it the first time he came to my hometown.. There we went. September 15, 2017 getting married! The VERY next day we left on the road to California.
"wow this is the dream" I said allowed as were jamming out to Carrie Underwood driving through the mountains together.
Then comes reality. The whole "honeymoon phase" is a REAL thing. Unfortunetely I feel that ours didn't last as long as others do... that's okay though, every relationship is different. I learned fast that Taylor and I would hardly ever see eye to eye on things. It could be on sports, it could be on politics, it could be on how to put a damn trash bag inside of the trash can. I learned that I am very emotionally driven and he is SOOOOO "logical". Everything has to be facts for him, no feelings almost. This drove / still drives me insane. As the years went on we have gotten better with how to handle each others differences. It took a long while though.
Marriage is something where it's no longer about you. It's always about balance and that can be hard. May sound selfish now but trust me, it's hard.
If I didn't already think that having different beleifs for everything was hard enough the tempers came along. I have always had a bad temper. I remember being little and screaming at the top of my lungs to my mom because I wouldn't want to wear the outfit she laid out for me for school that morning. (oops again). When you become comftorable with someone it's subconciously easier to be your true self. Normally people hide certain things about theirselves from their boyfriends or girlfriends but for me, as newly weds, I had nothing to hide. That included the good and the bad. They say that when you've found the one you're supposed to be with, you don't get nervous, you're just naturally comftorable with that person.I learned I was not the only one with a temper. Came out his too. However its game changing when you're living with someone. You scream, you throw things, you put one another down and you tend to use harsh words against one another. (not okay). Having a temper is not bueno. On the bright side, after a long three years, we have grown haha. But it still happens... that is just life.
Lastnight he got home from work super late, he was hungry and he was tired. Totally undersandable! Well.... He began to take his frustrations out on me. That did not feel good so what did I do? I added more gasoline to the fire because I can be petty like that. Things like this still happen and will always happen throughout our marriage. Our lives are not a fairytale no matter how hard we try to make it one. We began to argue because we both got very irritated very fast. That turned into us both throwing unecessary words to each other. Back and forth, back and forth. Instead of knowing what we were actually arguing about we just tried looking for something just to fight back. (petty beyond all. that's us to the T). In the heat of these types of moments we feel at our worst. We feel defeated, heart broken and done. Well .... (haha). I went to our room to cry a little bit and Taylor ended up eating. Shortly after he came into our room and apologized. This all happened because he was hungry. In his defense he was hungry and exhausted so I understand. I would be irritated too. Here's the beauty of it;
We argued non sense, we got over it. We still went to bed that night holding each other and saying I love you before we closed our eyes for the night.
Being as young as I am and with so much responsibility between our baby boy, our home and marriage it can be verrrry overwhelming. Everyone else my age is just worrying about getting a new pet or what homework assingment is due next. I have the worry of homework assignments, keeping a home together, being a mother and a wife. Oh and a dog mama too :) It is a lot but I wouldn't have it any other way. A lot of people say that they wouldn't be able to do what I do but honestly, anyone can. If it's something you really want you will make it happen. You will make it work.
I hope me sharing some good and bad with you guys could maybe help someone out there that may be havinig a rough time. Trust me, you are not alone. No one ever realizes what their peers may be going through, be nice, be humble and be REAL. Much love! See you guys next week!.