Updated: Mar 26
If you guys follow my page on Facebook then you know I have had trouble publishing this blog Friday but today is my lucky day! I got it all fixed. "Here's My Story - Part 1" was just the beginning of it all.
I answered to Taylor, still unsure, "No .. No, Oh my god, yes, yes I'll marry you!"
While shaking, excited, nervous and scared all in one. I placed my hang out in front of him and he placed the ring on my finger. "Aww.. kind of not my taste but it's a cute ring." I thought to myself. After this night everything happened so fast. We were initially planning to stay engaged, I go to college and visit him every so often in California and vice versa. After Graduation though, I wasn't feeling college as much as I thought and so he persuaded me that if were going to get married one day anyway then to just get married sooner than later that way we could be together in California. My mom was furious, at the time I didn't understand why but now I understand. When Taylor had asked for my moms blessing, he made a promise to her to let me do what I wanted to do (school) and to get to know each other more before tying the knot... he obviously broke that promise. I wish someone told me this promise was made, I wouldn't have agreed to his suggestion getting married sooner than later if I did. Long story short, he was telling me that he was only able to take leave that upcoming Fall. Not sure what month yet but Fall was only a few more months away. Being a young, eighteen year old girl come August, I thought it was a brilliant plan. It was my time to be on my own, be with who I loved and to be in California, my most favorite place. I ended up talking myself into it with the help of Taylor.
After August comes September. So after my 18th birthday came Fall.. I was excited at this point, I was about to make a crazy choice to marry the man I just got back with a few months prior. (don't try this at home.) I learned a lot on my way. September 15, 2017 Taylor and I got married. We were originally just going to head to the courthouse and sign the papers because we sprung this idea upon our families. However, last minute, my mom decided to throw us the most beautiful, fastest and smallest wedding. I personally think she couldn't let me leave without her daughter having something, even if it was planned last minute. It was perfect though. Taylor's family flew into town, not really doing much for the wedding or communicating but it's fine. I barely knew them at the time anyway. The day went on. I finished my makeup at my best friends house then went back home and hung out with my sister both getting ready. She was my bridesmaid/witness. She was my everything this day, honestly. Time felt like it was going by slow. Slower than a normal day. I wasn't sure if I was nervous or had the wedding day worries.. but I didn't really want to go. I remember laying there on my moms couch, still undressed watching t.v. My sister asked "uhh... are you ready to get dressed it's about to be 1p.m.?" (the wedding was to start at 1p.m.) "Oh yeah, of course, *chuckles* I feel tired for some reason." I replied. We both walked to my room and she helped me put my dress on, bottom, up just like on prom night. When she zipped me up in the back, that's when I knew and felt in my bones that this was real. This is happening today. Oh god, what has my life come to?
We began to drive to the park where our wedding was set up. We were trying to find parking so that no one would see me, we could see Taylor. He was up and around, looked nervous as all heck. I got butterflies seeing him there in his uniform, pacing around back and forth in front of everyone. My sister said, "okay, are you ready?" I hesitated answering while I was looking at everyone waiting for the bride to arrive.. "Yeah, Let's do this." I said. I remember walking up from behind everyone... slowly people began to notice us and I swear my heart dropped out of my ass. It was real. I felt the 'it' moment being there in front of all of my family and friends. The rest of this day was all a blur. After opening gifts, Taylor stood up to say his "thank yous" but ended up making it sound as though the wedding was over and it was time ago.. how nervous he was, was adorable to me but definitely not the life of the party. On our way to the beautiful hotel my mom rented us for the night, I was exhausted. I felt that I was going to fall asleep in the car. "oops, I hope I don't pass out at the hotel.."
September 16,2017 was our moving day! The day right after our wedding began our trip going to California together. I was excited and sad at the same time... I was leaving my family today. My mom, dad, brother and sister.. my best friend across the street and her family .. AND my childhood pet, Mia. I was trying my best to be the happy me all day but It was hard. Sooooo hard. I remember pulling up to my moms house to pack up his car with all of my things and to say our "see ya later." Gosh, I'm back home now with my family yet I still get teary eyed thinking about this moment. I was almost second guessing about leaving this morning but I knew what I really wanted at the time and I said to myself "this is for you, you want this, go get it. Begin the next chapter in your life girl, you got this." I was doing really good with keeping it together until we loaded the last bin into his car and until I hugged everyone goodbye... I've always been bad with goodbyes. I sat in the passenger seat and Taylor began to put the car in gear... I remember just seeing my mom standing on her front porch, watching me slowly roll down her driveway. This is when I lost it. I'm pretty sure I cried myself to sleep in the car. It wasn't all sad though, I remember flying through the mountains with the "just got married" in my rear view because my mom surprised us that morning and decorated his car. Jamming out to Carrie Underwood, Eminem and more it all began to feel like a fun road trip with my best friend.
First stop, Las Vegas, Nevada baby! This was our idea of a little honeymoon. With Taylor having a certain amount of leave and with us planning to get married last minute we figured, why not stop in Vegas and go live the best life for a night! Well, the day began great. The first thing I learned as a newly wed; always be the one responsible to remember parking anywhere you go. After spending the entire day walking the Vegas strip, eating and shopping... we couldn't find his car. Both of us were wearing cheap flip flops that we picked up from a CVS that morning. Our feet began to hurt and get sores from all of the walking and to make it better we couldn't find the car. What the heck right? haha! There we go again, walking the strip back and forth, left and right, over and over again. "Dude, where could we have parked? I swear it was just a simple, small parking garage. How could we have forgot where we parked?!" I asked Taylor as we're beginning to look like hobos with our feet turning black, blistery and our faces dripping sweat. The second thing I learned as a newly wed; Patience. After a long, long, LONG day we finally found the car! Boy was that rough.
Our wedding was over, our little honeymoon was over and almost so were we.. California living couldn't have been better. The friends I made were and still are the best friends I have ever made but the man I married wasn't the man I married. Year after year it got a little worse. I became more independent and he became more distant. After things began to lighten up between us, he got the news of a MEU deployment coming up. "Greaaaat." I thought. He wasn't stoked about it either but he was excited to travel, see new places and send me things from all over the world. Pretty cool stuff too! One month went by, two months went by then before we knew it, it was month 6 of his deployment. "Only one more month" we told each other over email, counting down the days. The email was the worst, it would get sent to my phone as a text message but had a whole extra set of messages with it and would almost always come out of order. It was a riddle every time I received an email from him.. but they were worth solving. At this point I was content. I was living on my own ... well with my dog too of course, I worked at Starbucks on base and created myself a day to day schedule. I really liked living alone, working. Focusing on me and my future... it was just lonely at times. Sacrifice. Sacrifice was the next thing I learned. This was a time I realized how much I gave up for someone I loved so much, so young. How much I was enjoying being alone really set things into perspective for me. Being on my own, in California, barely knowing anyone or anything I truly realized what I was missing out on but I know I sacrificed what I wanted to do or what I had planned to be with someone I loved so much and wanted to be with everyday. Not even two years married yet and I was lost, "who is he? who am I? did we make the wrong decision?"
You never know what tomorrow brings. Sometimes your career path may change, your goals may change and more. Today is March of 2021 and we have been married for almost four years. "wait, what? how?" You might ask.. I'm beginning to wonder the same thing. Every book has a chapter and every story has a page. "My Story - Part 3" is coming soon.
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