Updated: Mar 26
Happy Monday everybody! I hope everyone has had a safe and eventful weekend. Here's a little about how mine went; Saturday I stayed home with little man and cleaned up the apartment pretty good. The weather was BEAUTIFUL so Taylor and I decided to grill some burgers and hot dogs. Yuuummmmm It was so good. We ended the night with watching a movie, "Training Day" ( if you haven't seen it, WATCH IT ). On Sunday I make some homemade tortillas and watched Jaxon enjoy his daddy being home for once. (his job is annoying haha.) Came the late afternoon it was super warm out still so we decided to go see a waterfall here in the Springs.... it was frozen. Like "Duh!" how did we not think about that? It was still a blast though. Glad we went! Last but not least, we spoiled ourselves with Baskin Robin icecream, MY FAVORITE.
What is Marriage like?
I get asked this question a lot. When we first got married and more now that we have a baby. Below I'm going to list some things I have learned as a young military spouse. Beside them I will share any good or bad experiences I had learning these things.
When dating someone, girls especially, tend to try more with their hair, spend extra time on their makeup, make sure their legs are shaved and that they have the cutest outfit from their closet on. Being married, and learning so much more about one another living under the same roof, some or most of that goes out of the window. Your spouse becomes your day and night. Your best friend. Personally, Taylor built my confidence. I had never owned a bikini in my life and I remember buying my first bikini with Taylor at the MCX on base. He gave me the confidence I needed to start loving myself.
Being a military spouse especially, you learn you may have to sacrifice some things for your spouse. After High School I wanted to begin college and work, save up and move out. However, being in love with Taylor as much as I was I sacrificed what I wanted to do to go be with him in California. Not to mention home. You sacrifice being away from family and friends. During deployments, you sacrifice your mental health haha. NO joke.
Ugh. haha. If you're someone like me and enjoy everything being done your way or doing things you want, this is hard to learn. (Taylor is the same way so it made it way worse lol) When committing to someone for life you learn to compromise everything and I mean EVERYTHING. Compromise what brand of Kechup you buy, what percentage of ground beef you buy, where your toothbrushes go in the bathroom, how the towels are folded or what you guys have dinner. The list goes on and on. With everything that comes in your everyday life and big life events too, you're always thinking about the other person. "what would he/she like?"
This was and still is the hardest thing that Taylor has learned. After he graduated High School he went straight into the Marines. He was independent and used to being on his own for a while before we met. Not to mention, we both were never married before haha so we were already naturally used to things being "me" and "I". Being married it's good to be selfless most of the time, HOWEVER, this is where I learned we need to still think and care for ourselves too. If we don't then it actually has a bad affect... for us at least. Ladies, if you want those high lights, get those highlights. It doesn't matter if your spouse likes the color or not, it's what you want and they love you for you anyway. Boys, if you want to wear bright, orange workout shoes then wear those bright orange shoes. They obviously build your confidence and that helps with relationship too!
OH MY GOODNESS. PATIENCE. To all of us military spouses out there, this is something you will learn and have if you don't already within being married to your active duty love within days. DAYS. For one, the military likes to make things extra complicated for no reason. You will always be waiting on the military to send any documents you may need, to call you back for something you may have called for, for your husbands paycheck and so so so much more. Being married to someone you also have to respect and have patience with them if they are slower at things you may not be. Something Taylor has never had haha. He could never be a Police Officer I swear. He would totally get fired for losing his patience with a bad guy I already know (haha).
This is something I learned you NEED to have before getting married. I know it sounds like a no brainer but it gets more difficult then you may think. We both did not and it put a damper on our marriage because of it. While dating we had trust issues, we were long distance. I was in Colorado and he was in California, how couldn't we have trust issues? I think a downfall with being married so young is we hadn't experienced life yet and we hadn't experienced any real problems so how were we going to know what or how to be when they came along our way?
Always be honest. About anything. If you share a bank account and both of your incomes go to the same account, be sure to run everything by the other. I'm not meaning asking one another "can I get this or that?" more like, "oh, by the way I got this or that today." You know? You now share bills, share expenses, share wants and needs. Nothing is your own anymore. When you say your vows you vow to be one, together. If one does something the other might not like, tell them. Don't keep it a secret. It's not worth it, especially when the truth comes out later it makes it worse than what it would have been if you were just honest in the first place.
Take into consideration each others emotions. How do you feel? How do they feel? Some are more quiet with their emotions but you may need to just ask. "What's wrong?" "How are you?" "How's work?" "How was your day?" "How do you feel about x,y,z?"
Oh god. Men are simple is what I learned. If you have food cooked and have sexual relations periodically, HE WILL BE HAPPY. It's ridiculous. Now, personally... everyone is different. Sometimes the lady can be like that. In my case though it's my husband. He makes the stereotypical man theories VERY true to each and every stereotype of a man there is haha.
Did I mention patience?
This blog post is not by any means, advice, professional input or any real statistics. This is my personal blog sharing my personal lessons and experiences. - Thank you for reading! Write to you guys soon! - XOXO